Pain-Free Road Trips

I just got back from a road trip from my condo in Florida to my house in Virginia. It took 2 days and many boring hours staring into space...we decided that driving is only worth it if we are going to be at the condo for more than 2 weeks. It's just too much of a pain. Hence my post title.

Here are some of my ideas to make road trips with allergies pain-FREE:
1. BRING A COOLER- you cannot make it on a long car trip without a cold cooler full of drinks incase you're thirsty and don't want to get raped at a truck stop. It is also very handy if you want to bring safe lunchmeats to avoid fatty highway eateries (There is a McDonald's at every single exit down 95).
2. BRING ROOM TEMPERATURE BREAD- Who wants to eat a bland burger that tastes like the floor without a bready cover up? Sometimes you have to eat just to eat, no matter how terrible it tastes. I brought my own Schar rolls...but ran out way too soon. I also suggest bringing some small packs of peanut butter, just incase you can't find anywhere safe to eat.
3. PACK SNACKS THAT CAN BE DEFROSTED AND STILL HAVE TASTE- I bought gf/df frozen chocolate chip muffins from Publix that were meant to defrost naturally. This came in handy in the car despite the chocolate chips melting all over the place.
4. IF YOU MUST EAT OUT, STOP AT A CHICK FIL-A, RUBY TUESDAY or OUTBACK- These were the best options for me during the trip. Chick Fil-A has gf fries (thank god!) and Ruby Tuesday, although the servers were a bit stupid and slow, was very careful with serving me. I ordered turkey sliders without the bun and mentioned I was allergic to wheat...his immediate response was "Oh but the buns are not wheat buns...they're white." I almost said HOW STUPID ARE YOU? but I politely said, no I can't have ANY type of bread. Outback has a gluten-free menu and was very helpful serving me sides without butter.
5. FREE BREAKFASTS AT HOTELS ARE A BIG NO-NO- We stayed at a Comfort Suites on the way down which pleased my dad because of the "great deal" since it included "a free continental breakfast." Ummm I don't know the definition of a continental breakfast exactly, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't include premade flattened egg circles, hard-boiled eggs that taste like rubber, and only low-fat milk with bready carbs only. Of course, we were in the south so I shouldn't have expected anything else.
6. IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE SERVER IS SAYING (for example, has a thick Southern accent) DON'T TRUST THEM- Sure eggs don't have dairy in them....because butter isn't dairy according to half of the places that serve eggs. Excuse but what is butter then? Magic milky bars that come from buttercups? How about you GET AN EDUCATION. Oh and asking for soy milk in your chai at Starbucks in North Carolina apparently means I want non-fat. And what the hell does "turn leff" mean?

Okay enough ranting for the day...and off to my next trip to Pennsylvania and New Jersey! Expect more complaints to come....